I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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