Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just sent this text using only my big toe
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
