That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
