the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
