i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
