Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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