Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
