Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
where are my eyebrows?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
