After last night, I could never be a politician.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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