I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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