i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
