Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
