I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
