This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
