Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
