Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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