i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I believe in your delicious
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
