Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
