We won't sleep together?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
