hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
