my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
