There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My vagina just recognized that song.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We had sex on a dog bed..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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