I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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