the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
