Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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