just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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