dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
