i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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