i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
