Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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