the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
