Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
