i barfeds in our rink
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You smell like stripper and shame
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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