I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
