Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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