My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
