Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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