so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
