Can i not drive my cunt home
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
