Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
