I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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