I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
