All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
