I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
