I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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