She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
