I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
