PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
