Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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