so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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