Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
